Past Life Recollections

From: crystal (iluvmikeram@aol.com)
Story type: Past life
Location: my home
Source: Form Submission

I had a dream that I was a young teenage girl, and for some reason I had no parents. I don't know if I was orphaned or a run away, but a woman had offered me a place to stay. She had 2 children, a boy and a girl who she seemed very fond of. She told me I could stay in their room. I walked in and looked it over- white plastery walls; very plain.

The dream "fast forwarded" to a while later. I was walking in a dusty field with a man whom I knew was the husband of the woman who offered me the room. I felt like I was in love with him. And he reciprocated my affection by stopping me in the field and kissing me. I was elated.

"Fast forward" again to Christmas time. We were having a get together of some kind at the house. Lots of people were there. I knew that I was pregnant, and very sad. I was in the kitchen, and a bunch of girls were asking me about my pregnancy. They were excited for me & my husband, which they keep mentioning. I guess I had gotten married in the meantime to someone. I started to feel weak and I sat down on the floor. I told the girls I felt dizzy, and they suggested that I drink a home remedy of an egg and water mixture to help stop the dizzy spell. I knew that the child I was carrying was not my husbands. I knew it belonged to the married man I was having an affair with. And I was heartbroken because he did not want to carry the affair on anymore.

Another man came into the kitchen with a small, yellow envelope and said he had found some razors, and thought someone was going to try and kill themself. No one knew who the envelope of razors belonged to and the gossip and speculation began. I casually walked out of the kitchen, no one taking notice. I knew it wouldn't be long before the truth came out and everyone would know that the razors were mine and I was planning on killing myself. I walked down the hallway towards my room and saw the woman's husband in the doorway of his room. Since no one was around he was hoping that I would come into the room with him and fool around. I felt helpless and defeated. I gave him a half-hearted pat on the shoulder as if to say, "Goodbye." then I continued on to my room where I killed myself.

The era the dream took place in didn't seem long ago. It's funny to think that a lot of the themes in this previous life still have carried on today- dating older men, being nieve, lacking a parental connection, and feeling alone in the world. Maybe the unfinished buisness and karma of this previous life has carried over to my current one.