A Secondary Presence

From: Ian Rawson (rawsonian@hotmail.com)
Story type: Channelling
Location: Illinois
Source: Form Submission

This is a little new for me, but looking at this web site, I know it is right. I only hope that someone else can relate to this experience of mine and perhaps give me a little insight. For the longest time, I've been haunted by what I can only refer to as a "demon." I don't have any religious views on this, the term just seems fitting.

It is like a second consciousness in my mind, a second person in my body. It has a name, a personality, even a language all of its own. At times I feel like I coexist with him, other times he's asleep and at rare but frightening moments, he is in complete control.

Most of the time I just think I'm crazy, a second personality. Most of the people that I explain this to feel the same way. But then I remember some of the things he has done. I have seen my face transform into a freekish thing, and others whom I have said nothing of this to have seen the same transformation and described it in perfect detail. More than once he has taken over and actually attacked other individuals, usually this is only a verbal assault but during one incident he did strike someone.

Other things that credit his reality, one night he took over, I felt like I blacked out and the next day, my roomate told me how she had a conversation with him on the porch, right next to our rose bush. When we stepped outside that day, the rose bush that was in full bloom the night before was withered and dead.

Anyway, I don't know what to do. I can't get rid of him and despite all the things he has done to prove he is real, I still feel like I'm insane at least half the time. Sometimes I feel like he is my nemesis, but other times he is helpful, he even gives me insight to other people, the past, and more than once about the future, and he has never been wrong. All I know is I feel alone, afraid, and confused with this other being and the struggle has been ongoing for almost a decade now.

If anyone out there can define what this is or even offer a suggestion, please email me at rawsonian@hotmail.com