Katie's Voice

From: carmen (cdwilkinson@ftcweb.net)
Story type: Angel
Location: Mississippi
Source: Form Submission
Date submitted: Tue Jan 15 12:37:35 2008

Katie's Voice

It was April of 1999. I had an infant daughter named Katie who was disabled due to birth trauma. She was only seven weeks of age. We did not know what life held in store for her, was she going to live or die. I was merely 25 years of age and also had a 3 year old son. The entire experience had been extremely sad and painful.

Two weeks prior to giving birth to Katie I had told the doctor I had a really bad dream. I shared with him that in the dream she was born in the neonatal unit and was blue. Also my husband was not allowed in the room. My doctor shrugged this off and told me I was just afraid.

The night my daughter was actually born she was grey instead of blue and she was soon taken to the neonatal intensive care unit. Also my husband was not allowed in the room, which is exactly what I had dreamed but in a different way. She was flown to the University of Mississippi Medical Center so she could get much better care from highly trained people use to dealing with such critical babies.

Finally after she was in UMC for over one month and we were told she could come home but may not live very long we were faced with lots of emotions. I had lost confidence in alot of things and all I knew is that I wanted her to live. I prayed daily that God would just heal her completely. She could not cry,suck, or swallow. She was on several different medications as well as a feeding tube and oxygen. We were told she was basically living off of her brainstem.

One day the home health nurse told us that she seem to be doing worse. We were told that we were giving her really good care but it appeared that her body was shutting down. I was asleep and my mother in law woke me up to see if I would hand my baby to her so that she could rock her. As i turned to hand my baby to my mother in law I got a reflection of a woman in the glass frame of a painting on her wall. I looked out the window and There it was. There was an elderly lady walking down the street.

Ice chills ran down the veins in my arm and all over my body. I was struck with fear. I handed the baby to my mother in law and then went outside to see if I could see the woman. When I went outside she was gone. I had never seen this woman in our town before; however, I had seen her early on in my pregnancy in a dream I had during the start of my second trimester. Now I knew who this woman was. She was an angel of Death.

Earlier that day I had prayed and asked God to show me if my baby would live or die. When I saw this woman I knew my baby was going to die. This was even before the home health had come and told us she was not doing well.

In the dream from early in my pregnancy this woman was walking around in two rooms that adjoined to eachother. There was a group of people in one room sitting in a circle of chairs ignoring the woman. I was sitting in the opening that let into the other room. She leaned down in my ear and asked me could I hear it, feel it, or see it. I turned and looked into her eyes and said, "Yes". She was speaking of death and I was afraid. At that moment there was a knock on the door in the room I was in. There was a front door going to the outside in both rooms but the knock was on the door in the room I was in and I was the only one who felt the energy or could see it or could hear the knock. The knock was caused by death. It wasnt in a shape just some form of energy. I had awakened in a state of sleep paraylisis and could not move. At that moment I thought I was going to die.

That is how I knew that when I saw that exact same woman going down the street that my sweet baby was going to die. I took my child outside and held her in my arms in the spring sunshine. I whispered everything I could think of that I would ever want to tell her in a lifetime as tears streamed down my face. My beautiful baby girl was going to die. I took her back inside and laid her down. I then tried to explain to my family what I knew to be the truth in the middle of the pain we were all facing. It was very heartbreaking and I knew my child was going to die but noone else could hear it,see it or feel it. I phoned the homehealth nurse and she came back over. She made arrangements for me to take my little one back to the University but to the Children' s Hospital. We took little Katie back and the following night she died. I was not in the room when she died I had stepped out for a brief moment to be alone.

I would love to say that I had seen an angel who brought healing rather than an angel who brought death. But it was a comfort knowing that God did answer my prayer and allow me to make a decision as to whether she would die at home or in a hospital. I did not want her to be at home when she died.