First Time Experience

From: Courtney Jones (crtnyjay@aol.com)
Story type: Angel
Location: NJ Transit
Source: Form Submission
Date submitted: Tue Aug 25 02:13:05 2009

What I am about to tell you was the weirdest experience of my life. I was on the NJTransit going from Belmar, NJ to Red Bank, NJ. It was 11:00 at night and I usually paid $4.75 to get home to Red Bank. On this night, there was a conductor I have never seen before, he charged me $9.75. He told me it was a five dollar charge for not using the machines. I explained to him that I didn't have enough time to use the ticket machine. He did not care. I gave him my ten dollar bill remembering I was supposed to save five dollars for my dad. Feeling bad for not having my dads money I started to cry.

Suddenly, a man was beside me handing me a twenty dollar bill. I was still crying a bit and i refused to take it at first. He stared at me intently. I finally took the bill feeling guilty for taking this man's money. This man looked rather scruffy. He had a beard and a large jacket on. He actually looked kind of like a hobo. He walked away. I realized what just happend and I got up to look for this man. I got all the way to the opposite end of the train when I saw him again. I tried to give it to him but he either looked down or stared into my eyes. I felt overwhelmed with mixed feelings of remorse and guilt. I couldnt look at him anymore! I ran to the opposite end of the train and sobbed feeling upset and really confused.

Once we got into Long Branch, New Jersey I had to switch trains. I sat on the second train still feeling weird about him giving me a twenty dollar bill. So.... I got up again. I walked up and down the train looking at each person in each seat. This man was nowhere to be found. Giving up, i sat down in one of the seats. Within a few minutes the same scruffy man from the first train was standing next to me. He said, "Why did that freak you out"? I replied with a confused glance. He said, "What is the big deal that I gave you that" (meaning the 20 dollar bill). I explained to him that I felt bad because I didnt need it and I had never had a random person just hand me money like that before. The man said, "It's just paper! I have lots of it." He pulled out a bunch of twenty dollar bills and said, "What's the problem, you want more?" I quickly said no no no. I didnt want his money. He told me that sometimes you just have to accept things.

I felt oddly confortable around him and I told him to sit next to me. I asked him what his name was. He said it was "Billy-Bob", but he seemed to be joking. We started talking and he told me that he went to Princeton University, an amazing college in New Jersey. When he saw my astonished face he said, "Yeah it was a shitload of money but it was just a school". I asked him what he did for a living. He said, "It's not what I do for a living anymore, it's what I don't do". But, he went on to tell me that he was in Real Estate. I asked him what he went to Princeton for, and he told me that he majored in business and he minored in psychology. I want to be a psychologist! I want to minor in psychology! He told me the name of a specific class he took in college which I cannot remember but he said it was very interesting. I went on to talk to him about how I wanted to go to New York University when I got older and he told me to study hard if I want to go to a college like that. Trying to continue the conversation, I asked where his family lived. He mumbled something like, "If i knew that, I wouldnt be wandering around." I gave him a questioning look and he told me that all his family was dead. I told him I was sorry and from there we got into a some-what deep conversation about why people say, "I'm sorry" when they hear unfortunate news. I told him it was because when we hear things like that it immediatley makes us appreciate our family. He told me to always appreciate my family which was weird because I haven't been doing that lately.

Before you know it, the train is at Red Bank and I have to get off. I offered the twenty dollar bill back one more time but to no avail. I got the same stare as if he was saying, "C'mon, seriously". I couldnt help but laugh and put it in my pocket. I smiled at the scruffy man and put out my hand for him to shake. He shook it and he said, "It was a pleasure meeting you." As I turned to walk away he said "Good things will come to you." I left with a weird feeling. I wasn't sad but I wasn't happy. I wasn't scared but I wasn't fearless. All I could do was cry with confusion but at the same time I knew that this was a first-time experience and hopefully not a last.