My Questions Answered

From: 
Story type: Near Death Experience
Location: wisconsin
Source: Form Submission
Date submitted: Sat Dec 20 11:48:30 2008

beginning a week prior to Easter 2006

i don't know if this is a near death experience and i don't really care because this is the truth as i know it, it is the closest i have been to death after i was born and for reasons i understand, the memory of it is like crystal. about 2 years ago my liver failed and i was dieing fast in a hospital bed. steadily getting worse for about a 2 weeks (ethylene glycol and 1,1,1,trichlorolethylene poisoning, don't ask how it happened) the doctors were sure i needed a liver transplant and that i would not live long enough to get it. it was irrelevant to me at the time because i did not care. i was so deeply depressed that the prospect of death was very appealing. when i was laying there in the bed it was like i was barely in my body, i could come and go as i pleased and there was no more pain, i just could not do anything. it was like perception without hands to interact with. eventually at the worst stage before "it" happened i found myself in a place.

it was a place where everything was and nothing mattered, all and no use for it. infinitely deep and high, with only one visible structure to move towards. and so i went there. it was a building with a simple shape, rectangular base, with no floors or ceiling, just 13 rooms inside, there was inhabitants in the rooms of the building, they were beings without form, 6 on either side and one at the end farthest from me, one of the rooms was empty(it was my room), i knew the structure and the inhabitants, like id been there before and for a long time. they said if i stay here for too long i will have failed again (in not so few words). they reminded me of what i knew already but doubted and side tracked for what ever trivial reasons at the time. "this life is not yet over, and didn't i send you to do something?"

fwahahahaha! what an unenlightened fool i had been all this time! all i could do is laugh at myself for walking into that place too soon! stupid, depressed! weak! simple minded and small. but i didn't know where to go! and this thing(odd looking creature/humanoid) came out of nowhere and escorted me back to the living world so to speak.(in a nutshell)

in that place i saw time as something not in a line but as a great image, an entirety of our existence. where there are things destined to be decided on by our infinite smallness and that we are not small at all if we so choose. we are as bodies, vessels for interaction in the physical world and as those bodies inhabitants we are divine and eternal. i have abandoned my search for religion or god or any evidence of existence after death. my only focus now is purpose for every action i exact, to become the most powerful being i can be. to hone the tools i have at my psychological and physical and spiritual disposal to be unstoppable and immovable, in preparation for whats to come. dec-2008