My Guardian Angel and My Soul's Guide

From: 
Story type: Angel
Location: Turku, FIN
Source: Form Submission
Date submitted: Sat Jun 19 13:32:34 2010

I'm 20-years-old Finnish woman. I have always been bullied and my teenage years were very hard to deal with. I lost all my friends. I couldn't talk to my parents about anything. I felt all alone. There wasn't a single reason for me to keep going with my life. I wanted to kill myself. The pain inside me kept growing and growing. I cried once in a day. I hurted myself many times and hide it from my parents. Finally I was so numbed that even the tears were gone. I felt sick and negative about everything.

One night I finally decided to do kill myself. "Tonight - I'll do it". I was so ready for it. I was fifteen then. I freaked out when I realized that I wasn't home alone. The way I wanted to make it wasn't possible! My parents were there and I couldn't do it. But I wanted to do it right away! I had to! I couldn't wait any more longer! I was so depressed and started crying again. I hadn't done that in months. I was hysterical. (Nowadays I would just jump infront of a train if I really would like to kill myself.)

I went to my bed and cried many hours. I felt I was going to lose my mind - that I already lost it. It was like a curse to be alive. Then... Suddenly... In the midnight I felt something strange. Someone was lying over me. But it didn't feel heavy. It made me feel so good. It felt I wasn't alone anymore. That someone wanted to take care of me and supported me. It spoke inside my head and said very wise things that I wasn't able to think those days - I was too young to realize those kind of things myself. But when it spoke to me I felt love all over my body. It changed my life - my way of thinking. During many weeks I dreamed and enjoyed that feeling it gave me. I felt love toward that stranger who helped me. I wished it would come back someday. It never came. But I started to be strong again. I continued with my life. And now I know. It never came because after that meeting I don't need to face it again. I believe if I will go down again and I mean really down thinking all those suicidal thoughts, it would come back to comfort me.

Later I have realized that it was my Guardian Angel and my Guide. I know them now, so I know it was them. I have close relationship with both of them. They help me every day to deal with troubles and sieges. I'm very succesful with my life. Two wonderful thing are happening to me this summer and that is because I trust all of the angels and these helpers who are connected to us. They give me energy to deal with the things. And sometimes they even intervene in situations.

For example... My girlfriend is very difficult person - mean and loses her temper very easily. Nowadays, if we have a fight and she won't listen to me and I can't deal with it myself, I ask my guardian angel to speak with hers. And you know what? Before it took 5-9 hours to settle things up. Now it happens in 20-30 minutes! SHE is even the one who takes the initiative. It was always me. I believe her angel is talking to her, when I asked it. This is very huge thing for me, cause' I love her and I can't stand it, when she starts a fight and won't apologizes her behaviour. Of course... these angels won't change her true self - but they can whisper pacificatory words on her ear and her good side appears more often. They help us to use our virtues more and our sins less. That's what I think.