An Angel or My Father

From: John Bower 
Story type: Angel
Location: unknown
Source: Form Submission

My experience is not really with an Angel, but more like a long awaited beginning and end to mourning my father's death. See, when I was four years old my father had committed suicide. Shortly after, my mother remarried, and I quickly took to the new father figure in my life not really having the time to miss my real father or having enough time to figure out what was going on in my life. (Just for the record, I have many good memories of my real father) Anyways, sixteen years went by and in that time I learned of how my father died and how he loved me, but had problems with alcohol and drugs and eventually just decided he couldn't handle life anymore.

My mom and step father (who I adore and considered him as much my real dad) were getting a divorce after 16 years of perfect marriage. I was then 18 or 19 years of age, and I still thought of my real dad often. I often wondered what went through his head and what made him think life was just so bad that he had to end it him self not even wanting to wait for a chance to find out that things do get better.

I was over at my mothers house and looking for some batteries when I ran across an old tattered letter, that made no sense when I first read it, then I got to the second page where it ended shortly and to the point "...I leave all house hold goods to Diana (my mom) and Jamie (me). Please forgive me. Ronnie (my dad)."

It seemed like it took forever for it to register in my head, but when it did, it hit hard! My dad had left a suicide note and I just found it, 14 years later. Well, little did I know, mournign my fathers death was just now beginning for me. My step dad was not around any more, so now, according to my therapist I had more time to think and wonder about my real dad and go through the things I should have already experienced.

I believe in ghost and angels and stuff of that nature, and of course I believe in God.

So, all the time I was praying for some sort of explanation of this and my dad. I could not shake the depression and all. Then one night as I slept, my dad came to me and we talked and looked at past pictures that I currently have in my possession and did at that time as well. Since then, I have been at total peace with everything, and I felt my mourning had ceased soon after that incident.

Some people say that it was just a dream, but I know it wasn't because in my dream I was aware of him being a ghost. He was not alive in my dream. I don't know , I just know it wasn't a dream. As I tell this to you now, and as I have told it in the past, I always get these really weird feelings. I can't explain what it feels like cause it's not familiar but, it's not uncomfortable. I welcome it with open arms, so all I can say is that it's the presence of God or maybe even my dad.

I welcome your input if you have any.

Thanks