I Am Supposed to Be Here

From: wendy price (wprice@mfi.com)
Story type: Channeling
Location: Chattanooga River, Highlands, North Carolina
Source: Form Submission

I was sitting at work and decided to explore different areas of the net. I just finished reading your story about almost dying in that river.

You really reached out to me. I, too, almost died in that river and was caught in an eddy or hydraulic. I was wearing tennis shoes and no life vest. The rocks were on one side of me and the water kept sucking me down.

However, unlike you, I was so very angry. I saw what was happening from above and could see that my friend was trying to help. I felt cold and dark and my mind was telling me to relax that I was going to die. My spirit felt like an angry child, I could hear my grandmother fussing at someone saying, "She had no buisiness up there in that river". I could hear another voice say that "Robert (my ex-husband), would have never let this happen". I was so mad because I wanted to live. There was this tremendous fight going on and I cannot recall ever before or since feeling such strong anger and sadness.

Finally, I heard a voice telling me that I was not thirty-four yet. It kept repeating that, and then, when I was almost tired of fighting and a horrible sadness seemed to be all of me, I felt the strong pull of someone pulling me by my waist onto a rock.

It was my boyfriend of four months, Matt, who had brought me to the river for the weekend. I was limp and he tried to hold me up. I was crying and all I kept saying was "I didn't want to die". I wanted to sleep and everything became so wonderful and warm. I was acutely aware of my body and the texture of everything I touched. I peed in my shorts as I lay on the huge rock next to the gushing water. I knew that I had to make it up the mountain but I was so limp. Matt was trying to carry me and he couldn't. It was up to me to make it up the mountain to where we had parked his jeep. Weaving, happily shaking, I noticed the colors and breathed the wonderful air in. I was so happy to be back in my familiar surroundings but knew that I had been saved, in spite of my own stupidity, by some power, greater than Matt or me. He told me later that evening, as I sat awake and was still too shaken to sleep, that he saw my limp body float by, and for an instant had but a single opportunity to reach out from the rock

On the drive down the mountain, drenched and still coughing, I made him pull over so that I could pick a flower. It seemed to me that I was in the most beautiful, enchanted land I'd ever seen. The smells, the colors----everthing was incredibly intense.

Since then, I moved from Montgomery, Alabama where all family and friends live, to San Francisco, California. I moved into a hotel for several months and began a journey to my real purpose. I found that I could draw incredible pictures, and enrolled in the masters program at The Academy of Art. I have never taken an art class in my life. My family thought I was crazy! That was four years ago. Now, I have my MFA in Computer Art and I feel such exhuberance, even when things are really bad. I know that I am supposed to be here. When my time and work are finished, then maybe that's when I'll go-----more willingly.

Wendy Price