Peace in Death

From: Anonymous
Story type: Channeling
Location: At home in dream state (revelation)
Source: Form Submission

My mother died in April of 1980 after an extended bout with cancer. The last few months of her life were devasting. Watching the woman who had been the backbone of our lives lose her dignity, pride and life was awful. I truly believe that God, however, does things in a way that people can accept. Had mother passed away suddenly in a car wreck, it would have been more that anyone in the family could have handled. I truely feel that God let mom live and perhaps suffer for as long as he did to prepare us for her death. By the time that she did slip into her final comma and die, she had suffered unbearably for a long time. I remember going to sit on the porch beneath her window late a night and praying to God for him to just take her away. And this was the seed that I planted that bother me most after her death.

Ironically, the Friday before she passed away on the following Thursday, I wrote an extended letter to her physican who had followed her through her complete illness, thanking him for his kindness and all that he had done for her from the beginning. Looking back, I feel that even though I had not realized of myself that her death was now upon us, spiritually I did know and responded as such.

At the funeral everyone was totally emerged in grief and tears were being shed by almost everyone, but I remained calm and did not cry because she was just not gone yet. By the time the hearse arrived at the cemetary and we, the family were seated for the final rites at the grave, I did begin to feel panicky. And when the first shovel of dirt was cast upon her casket, I begin to cry because it was now so final. As I looked around the same people who'd been so sad at the funeral service were not beginning to chat and chuckle among themselves. I was so angry, because I felt that this was now the time to be sad, because she was gone. Now she was no longer with her. I never cried during her illness because of her impending death. She was still with us and I did not feel the need to accept death when it had not yet come.

The next 2 months following her death,was a very depressing and stressful time. I was constantly haunted with guilt for asking God to just take her away from all her pain and suffering. I wanted to know that she had found peace in her death but I had no way of knowing this or finding this out. I prayed constantly and lost many nights sleep. Work and my children was the only things that kept me targeted and going.

About a month and a half past her death, I had a dream that was so real you could feel, smell, and touch everything just like in real life. Although I am at times a livid dream, never had I dreamed this way. It was visionary. I was in the unseen but in the mist of a family of three, a mother, father and daughter. It was winter and where ever the location was the the ground was barron earth (brown) no grass or any type of folliage appeared to grow. There was also small black rocks like coal sparsely around on the ground. There were a few trees, but they were far and few, and as far as you could see all around the land was flat and barron. I remember looking at the horizon and seeing it low and right down level to the ground. There is a house behind me, a nice white house with shutters, a walk up porch with black wrought iron beams .

In front of the house is a body of water (river) that is as wide as a regular paved street, winding and curving from as far as I can see both ways. This body of water is frozen over with ice and there is a arched wooded bridge built over the water for crossing over to the oppposite bank; the bridge is not far from the house. The front door opens and out comes the parents and the daughter. What I notice first is that one parent is black and the other white. They are bundled up and I feel the cold as they shutter against the cold climate coming from the warm house. The little girl is about 5 years old, and she is dress in snow pants with rubber boots, and a grey wool coat and hat with ear muffs and gloves. She has a large rubber ball that she is bouncing on the ground as they walk they pass over the bridge to the other side.

I can hear and see that the parents are engaged in conversation and laughter, although I am not necessarily aware of the general conversation. They walk out from the body of frozen water and stand near one of the barren trees as they watch their daughter approach them. As she walks towards her parents she is gleefully laughing and playing with the ball. She pauses and throws the ball towards them, whereas they roll in back to her.

This goes on for a while until the little girl misses the ball and if rolls out onto the ice. Before her parents can stop her, the little girls runs out onto the ice for the ball - - but before she can reach it the ice breaks and she begins to drown. I see her go down one, twice, three times. The third times she goes down she comes back up and a cloud of breath forming fog begins coming from her mouth as she says in a deep deep deep voice: "To me earth is the wilderness of hell."

I immediately wake up and find myself cold and with the sense of having returned. For weeks I am absorbed by this dream and one day straight out nowhere a strange woman approached me and ask me if I had lost a child or woman to death. I told her that I had recently lost my mother. I asked her if I should know her or if she knew me to which she said no. She said that she was not a soothesayer or teller or dreams, but that she felt I had had a vivid revelation through a dream. She asked me if I had and to tell her about it. Of course I told her the above account and from this she said that I received an answer from my mother letting me know that in her death she had found peace. She said that the differential of race (black and white) represented the plight of good and evil in the world, while the child represented the innocence. The drowning represent the death and passing over and the message indicate that with earth being the wilderness of hell in death she had been released. I stood up to give my boys money from ice cream, and when I turned around to sit back down on the bench to continue my conversation, she was gone.... no were to be seen........

>From this point on I found peace and was able to move on with my life and feel in my heart that mom truly had found away to let me know she was okay. That her death had given her peace and comfort, that she was alright. I also felt that she wanted me to gone on with my life and not worry about her any longer.