NDE and Suicide

From: Peg Hargarten (jphargarten@uswest.net)
Story type: NDE
Location: North Memorial Medical Center MPLS MN
Source: Form Submission

NDE 1986 I was in labor with my 2nd child, the cord was wrapped around its neck twice. The labor wasn't progressing. The pain was excrutiating and the dr had been on call for 70 hrs. and was taking a nap! The nurse in charge wouldn't or couldn't give me any thing for the pain.

Finally I closed my eyes and prayed for help, and the pain was gone! But, when I opened my eyes I was standing behind the headboard of the bed. Looking down at the women on the bed.Thinking poor thing.the nurse grabbed my ankle and jerked it, I was back inside my body,damn> I layed there screaming.

Once again closed my eyes and prayed, and one again the pain left, this time when I opened my eyes I was standing in a darkened hallway, looking back into the room, and then I started to back up the room was getting farther and farther away until it was only a pin point. And I realized I was in the dark I felt a moment of fear and then total peace and calm one that those words alone can never fully encompass.

Then a presence behind me, my father, who had been dead for 5 yrs. We embraced of a sort it was was more like a joining> I immediately tried to apologize for something that had been bothering me since his death,He flicked it off and said oh forget that I did a long time ago, and that one regret that had tormented me for 5 yrs. was instantly gone and has never returned!\

He then started to tell me all kinds of wonderful secrets about the universe, my mentor had returned! He told me we are never alone, we are always with god, god does exist, he loves us unconditionaly, regardless of the color of our skin or the shape of our eyes,he is total and unconditional all encompassing love again I tell you these words cannotdefine the depth of gods love.

It was an intense blue light, warm and comforting, I stood with my back to it, yeah thats right I backed into heaven, figures. He said you can go on or you can go back, I started to turn to go with him, and heard a baby crying and said oh lets wait for the baby and with a surge and a whish I was back inside my body.

five yrs later my 13 yr old daughter died of a drug overdose. She's been gone 5yrs. but not really, is she trapped here because of her suicide, or because of my need to right my failuer to to protect her from herself. I desperately want her to be at peace. Or is it me that needs to be at peace.

What do I do? I know deep in my soul that the Universe is a deep and complicated place, that the existance I am living now that we are all living now is a minute portion of what it actually is!!! Regardless my soul feels as though it is amost drained of its energy is there anyone out there who can help us to move on?

The final message in this story, the one thing that I have learned is this. What I learned frommy NDE.

WE are sent here to learn to practice LOVE IN ALL OF ITS FORMS, to revel in it, to respect it and each other, that is why we arehere before we can move on and attain that which we so desperately long for, we must start respecting each other, its a simple lesson really, perhaps thats why we are having such a hard time because the lesson is basically that simple. Think about it...